Welcome to the most crucial part of Positive Parenting, which is

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ENCOURAGEMENT

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"A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water." Rudolf Dreikurs

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Instead of putting the main focus on correcting a child's wrong behavior, switch your focus on guiding
them to feel they belong. Show appreciation when they display good behavior.

It's called "deserved attention."

That way, your child understands what they should repeat, do more often, and build on.
Telling them what not to do, doesn't show them how to build from there.

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Encouragement is an art.
Some people kill every plant even if they love them, while others have green fingers and the skill to make every plant grow nicely. It's an art that can be learned, just as encouragement can be learned too.
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An encouraged child has courage, the main ingredient for doing well in relationships, jobs, hobbies, and life.
It is where the "I CAN" and "I MATTER" attitudes stem from.
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Do you remember that being human means feeling inferior?
There is so much for a child to learn that inevitably they will fail thousands of times and succeed in millions of ways. The latter often remains unnoticed as it seems evident, but it isn't. Therefore, a crucial part of parenting is to acknowledge when they attempt to reach goals, and when they reach goals.
Because always remember, they feel inferior and strive for a perceived plus. You don't want them to get a confirmation from you that they are inadequate when they are trying their best to move towards being as significant to you as you are to them.

 

"When a child makes a mistake or fails to accomplish a certain goal, we must avoid any word or action which indicates that we consider him a failure. 'Too bad that didn't work.' 'I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.' We need to separate the deed from the doer." Rudolf Dreikurs

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We start learning to encourage by first distinguishing between encouragement and praise.

Please open the file below and I hope you appreciate the new information.

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See you soon and until then, focus on encouraging!

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Warmly,
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Martina

 

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